It\u2019s April Fools\u2019 Day, which seems like the perfect time to discuss\u2014Dum, Dum, Duuuuuum!\u00a0 \u00a0Costume Malfunctions.<\/p>\n
Everybody, regardless of occupation, has had their clothing play tricks on them at some point in their lives.\u00a0 A zipper that didn\u2019t get zipped (or unzipped itself!), a crucial button that went flying, or a seam that split and let everyone know far too much about your underwear choices\u2014the list goes on forever.\u00a0 These things are never fun, and they always seem to occur in circumstances that make fixing them unobtrusively just about impossible.<\/p>\n
Now imagine that you are in an extremely tight-fitting costume.\u00a0 It is held on by very slender straps, yet covered with heavy decorations.\u00a0 In some cases it only just<\/i> covers up some of your most important bits.\u00a0 Imagine that you are wearing this costume as you jump, spin, twist and bend.\u00a0 Oh, yeah, one more thing–you are On.\u00a0 A.\u00a0 Stage. \u00a0The possibilities are mind-boggling.<\/p>\n
Bra clasps, for instance, are always good for a laugh.\u00a0 Even heavy-duty ones can bend with use, or break loose from their moorings due to worn-out threads.\u00a0 If these tricks don\u2019t work, an extra-talented clasp can simply unlatch itself as the fabric warms up, moves and stretches.\u00a0 What to do when this happens?\u00a0 Panic. \u00a0Run.\u00a0 Die<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Next, anything that is true for a bra clasp is also true for a belt clasp.\u00a0 Old-fashioned Egyptian and Turkish costumes come with a detachable belt, usually rimmed all the way around by long beaded fringe.\u00a0 The purpose of this fringe is to accentuate hip movements.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it is also very heavy.\u00a0 Not only can the standard bra problems occur with the belt fastenings, the weight of the belt itself can drag both the belt and the skirt further and further down the dancer\u2019s body as she moves.\u00a0 If left unadjusted, this can expose the dreaded Crack of Doom.\u00a0 \u2018Nuff said.<\/p>\n
Some modern costumes have a skirt that is itself heavily decorated, so a detachable belt isn\u2019t necessary.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t always solve the problem, though.\u00a0 These skirts can slide up, down and sideways with the greatest of ease, especially if they were even the tiniest bit loose to begin with.\u00a0 Plus they often have zippers, and we all know what havoc a zipper can cause if it tries.<\/p>\n
For the truly adventurous dancer, some of these skirts even feature cutout patterns along the sides of the hips to expose more skin.\u00a0 These are a bit risqu\u00e9 for my taste, but they get downright risky when a skirt starts to shift.\u00a0 The problem is twofold:\u00a0 1) The cutouts make it impossible to wear underwear under the costume.\u00a0 For a performer, going commando is never, ever a good idea, especially if you are going to be on a raised stage or doing floor work. \u00a0There are too many tragic stories on this topic to even begin to relate, so I\u2019ll just say that I once got an unexpected show from a panty-impaired dancer who was whipping a sword around and the sword caught and lifted her skirt for the world to see. \u00a0Yeesh. 2) Now that you are not sporting undies, the skirt will do everything in its power to work itself around until the cutouts are no longer over the hips.\u00a0 Double yeesh.<\/p>\n
Accessories are their own barrel of monkeys.\u00a0 Jewelry of all kinds can get snagged on a dancer\u2019s costume, hair, scenery and other dancers.\u00a0 Jewelry can break and go flying, or disintegrate into many sharp pieces on the dance floor.\u00a0 (This usually happens when the dancer is barefoot.)\u00a0 Wigs and hairpieces that were fastened with a million clips and bobby pins still find ways of sliding off the dancer\u2019s head one he or she is onstage.\u00a0 Bonus points if they fall into somebody\u2019s food.<\/p>\n
Next up, finger cymbals.\u00a0 Finger cymbals are the belly dancer\u2019s equivalent of ninja throwing stars, except that the dancer\u2019s not usually trying to throw them.\u00a0 Finger cymbals throw themselves. \u00a0To prevent this, dancers must fasten cymbals to their fingers with elastic that is so tight their fingers turn blue.\u00a0 This feels just great, and sometimes the cymbal breaks loose anyway.\u00a0 A truly dramatic arm gesture coupled with loose or broken elastic can result in the cymbal flying across a room and burying itself in the drywall (this actually happened to a friend of mine.)<\/p>\n
Some costumes really go too far.\u00a0 I once had a heavy silver necklace fly up and hit me smack in the teeth when I did a hair toss.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also had glass belt fringe that shattered under heavy use, leaving tiny pieces of glass that embedded themselves in my feet.\u00a0 And then there was the time a ruffle on a flamenco-type skirt tore onstage and almost made me break my neck.\u00a0 There is only one thing to do in these cases: \u00a0Ditch the offending piece and get a new costume.\u00a0 And pray\u2026<\/p>\n
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It\u2019s April Fools\u2019 Day, which seems like the perfect time to discuss\u2014Dum, Dum, Duuuuuum!\u00a0 \u00a0Costume Malfunctions. Everybody, regardless of occupation, has had their clothing play tricks on them at some point in their lives.\u00a0 A zipper that didn\u2019t get zipped … Continue reading